I’m sitting at Love Muffin café in Moab, Utah staring at a blank screen thinking about my next blog post (officially my second time ever posting). Paul is out on a hike somewhere nearby, and Doodle is in our motel room.
There are a few things I want to comment on:
- Blank Screen time: It occurs to me the irony of the “blank screen” season of my/our lives as I think about what to write next. We are actually creating whatever comes next from this “blank screen” season…with the help of God, friends and family. Living like a homeless couple with a dog in a van is actually freeing in the simplicity: no house to clean, no dishes, sleeping in past Evie’s wake times, and living day to day are all part of creating an adventure that unfolds each day.
- This feels like a second honeymoon for Paul and I. It occurs to me that Paul and I got
married 5 years ago, started infertility treatments aggressively when I turned 40, moved twice, bought a house, had a child, and I had three jobs in five years. We haven’t stopped. This is a luxury of time together to connect and change the routine to just being about us. Thank you God and the Stanley’s for taking good care of Evie while we are here.
- Doodle is a neurotically adorable dog. I haven’t spent Doodle time like this since I was single. Doodle used to be my only “baby”…but now he follows us around, gets nervous when the van stops or we leave the room, and won’t eat until his “pack” is all together and calm…not when we are driving. He always wants to sit on our laps and is really quite nervous about where we are and where we are going. His bed is his only constant. Yesterday we had a scare when he jumped out the passenger seat door when I opened it instead of waiting until I held him. He fell all the way to the floor onto his side and cried and whimpered for quite awhile. I panicked and thought he broke his back or legs, and worried we wouldn’t have medical services for him in a middle of nowhere visitor center in the desert. He ended up being OK after a few minutes and is just fine…phew. I’ll keep an eye on him…Man do I love that dog.
- I need solitude: We stayed in a motel called Rim Rock Inn in Torrey, Utah that was so majestic in silence with giant red cliffs and views in panoramic windows (for $50 a night!). I realized that I really need “unplugged” time from technology, people, demands, worry, and schedules. I think we all do. The giant red rocks and moving clouds and color on the sheer cliffs was like a movie unfolding during our dinner at the motel window. I was so thankful for the silence. Literally no cars for most of the day on the road. Not even any music. No cell reception. I looked at the people that worked in the motel as having something I didn’t have, some kind of wisdom of sitting still and expecting nothing less than what comes in life. Exactly what I need right now. I try to resist the temptation to worry about the future: no job, no house, and the unknowns of our life in two weeks…. I’m giving my self permission to stop for now.
- Eating: I really don’t need to eat as much as I do. It’s nice to actually THINK before I eat: “Am I hungry?”, “What is a healthy option?”…or “How can we live off what’ in the van fridge for several days?”. Sometimes as the mother of a toddler, I eat goldfish crackers, leftover mac and cheese, and whatever I can make quickly and squeeze between events. Ahhhhhhh…..
- Kymberlee Kamping: is not so bad. We are in a motel for two nights due to bad weather….so far I’m having a nice balance between van sleeping and motel beds… I’m not suffering and Paul gets four stars for considering my needs. Thanks honey.
- Did I mention the Bonsai?: I was soooo glad to hand off the bonsai tree to my mom in Ely, Nevada. Five days with Benny the Bonsai was more intimate than I ever wanted. I got to rearrange the inside of the van as fung shue as I wanted given the guitar, Doodles bed, and tubs’o’stuff all over the cabin area. I got creative with bungee chords and stacking.
I’m on my own for the first time in 7 days. I think I will walk to the library, or buy some gifts for Kaela and Rebekah who entertained Evie in the backseat of grandpa’s car for 6 days, or maybe I’ll just talk on the phone, something I rarely have time to do. So if I call you today, it’s my reveling in the time to connect with you…
We are off to Colorado tomorrow to see Paul’s aunt and uncle in Denver, and my stepbrother and his family in Evergreen, CO. More driving. I am thankful to stop for the first day in a week. Road weariness had set in last night and I just wanted to STOP.
So far so good…life can happen if you just let it.